![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
healingmirthThis is entry is not related to what it's probably going to look like it's related to. It is, in fact, related to the fact that I just saw someone post a blackout at ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
kink_bingo. It's been two weeks since the challenge started, so that's like two fics a day, which sounds reasonable for someone who has (or makes) time to write. I have maybe 3 ideas and 700 words of something that I really like parts of, but is turning into more of a word-prompt fic and less of a about-the-kink fic, so I haven't decided what to do with it.
I revise everything. I frequently spend more time revising than writing, and then I give up entirely. I got a text message from a friend yesterday morning, asking if I wanted to go to dinner. It took me probably 3 minutes to word a reply that boiled down to "yes. how about someplace with good burgers?"
I can't remember if I've talked about this here already, but I am an only child. When I was in high school or thereabouts, I read the chapter(s?) on only children in the Birth Order Book, and the only thing I remember is that only children are supposedly perfectionists, but that the perfectionism can also lead to these kids becoming discouraged perfectionists. This is to say, we feel like we have to do everything perfectly, and when it becomes clear that that is impossible, we say "screw it" and give up. It's like the self-defeating version of taking your ball and going home when the game doesn't go your way.
Despite the evidence in this journal, I try not to spend a lot of time wallowing in the woe-is-me side of being a talentless hack, because frankly that is a bullshit attitude to have (for me - everyone else's mileage is guaranteed to vary). I think I'm just happier being a consumer than a producer. Except I'm not very good at that either, because leaving feedback on other people's work frequently terrifies me, too.
In happier news, season 4 of Oz is firmly back in the land of compelling television for me. I'm slightly confused as to why this season suddenly has twice as many episodes as the rest of them, but that means they have all sorts of time to develop whatever it is they're building to, so I am totally okay with it.
I have great hopes of buying a mattress and barstools and china and going to the farmers market tomorrow, and then playing volleyball tomorrow night, and then not being a complete mess when my friends come to visit this weekend. Maybe.
kink_bingo. It's been two weeks since the challenge started, so that's like two fics a day, which sounds reasonable for someone who has (or makes) time to write. I have maybe 3 ideas and 700 words of something that I really like parts of, but is turning into more of a word-prompt fic and less of a about-the-kink fic, so I haven't decided what to do with it.I revise everything. I frequently spend more time revising than writing, and then I give up entirely. I got a text message from a friend yesterday morning, asking if I wanted to go to dinner. It took me probably 3 minutes to word a reply that boiled down to "yes. how about someplace with good burgers?"
I can't remember if I've talked about this here already, but I am an only child. When I was in high school or thereabouts, I read the chapter(s?) on only children in the Birth Order Book, and the only thing I remember is that only children are supposedly perfectionists, but that the perfectionism can also lead to these kids becoming discouraged perfectionists. This is to say, we feel like we have to do everything perfectly, and when it becomes clear that that is impossible, we say "screw it" and give up. It's like the self-defeating version of taking your ball and going home when the game doesn't go your way.
Despite the evidence in this journal, I try not to spend a lot of time wallowing in the woe-is-me side of being a talentless hack, because frankly that is a bullshit attitude to have (for me - everyone else's mileage is guaranteed to vary). I think I'm just happier being a consumer than a producer. Except I'm not very good at that either, because leaving feedback on other people's work frequently terrifies me, too.
In happier news, season 4 of Oz is firmly back in the land of compelling television for me. I'm slightly confused as to why this season suddenly has twice as many episodes as the rest of them, but that means they have all sorts of time to develop whatever it is they're building to, so I am totally okay with it.
I have great hopes of buying a mattress and barstools and china and going to the farmers market tomorrow, and then playing volleyball tomorrow night, and then not being a complete mess when my friends come to visit this weekend. Maybe.
