Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
Feb. 3rd, 2008 06:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
healingmirthLiveblogging the SuperBowl broadcast. Don't read this. Seriously. Complete waste of time, and ought to be simply replaced with a sentence: "I watched the SuperBowl." It will likely not make sense out of context, except for the links to commercials, but it makes me feel productive. Or engaged, or something which is less a waste of 4 hours of my life than just sitting, watching tv and eating chips. I am also practicing my sub-par touchtyping skills. I would be better at it if my typing patterns didn't require me to periodically look at the keyboard to make sure I'm not in the wrong place.
See, I'm pretending, as long as I'm home, with my laptop in front of me, rather than watching the SuperBowl with a bunch of people, I can pretend that I'm doing the reading for class tomorrow, but I know I'm just going to stay up all night like I normally do on Wednesday nights. Bring on the commercials!
Jordin Sparks looks really nervous, poor kid. Well sung, of course. I'm pretty sure she just sang "through the perilous fi...imes" though.
Tedy Bruschi, ducking across the imaginary line on the field to check out the coin toss coin. Wonder if he did it because he just didn't trust them to tell the truth, or really wanted to see what the coin looks like. Either way, that's precious.
Troy Aikman, not as inspiring as Russell Crowe. The just should have shown the perfection bit twice. It was pretty awesome.
All those Ford commercials, where they do ridiculous things like dropping a payload from a helicopter or have the truck skid to a halt on a track at the edge of a chasm, I can see where you might find someone who wants to recreate those in daily life and it'd screw them. However, the "Closed Centrifuge. Do not attempt" warning on the one where they spin the F-150 around by the tow hooks. Is that warning really necessary? Even assuming, for a second, that the "coffee is hot" warning is necessary.
Wow, Belichick isn't wearing his ratty gray hoodie. Looking snazzy there in the new red sweatshirt there, Bill, even if you did cut the sleeves off again.
The fire breathing Bud Light commercial, not as good as the talking to animals one. I'm assuming that the Audi commercial with the (Rolls Royce?) grill in the guy's bed is a Godfather nod? I really ought to have seen the Godfather movies by now.
Peyton stayed away from the Giant's last playoff game. He looks nervous. I can't even imagine how frustrating it must be to watch a quarterback as a quarterback. I have enough trouble.
Oh, Eli. Don't throw into double coverage.
Cute diet Pepsi ad. Sleepy people doing the falling-asleep head nod to the tune of "What is love" in what I really hoping is a Night at the Roxbury reference. And, there we go, they all wake up. And that guy, whose name I should know. Definitely A Night at the Roxbury.
Yeah, over 8 minutes on the first NY drive, and the Pats get the same number of yards on the kickoff return...
More Bud Light cleverness. Trojan cheese wheel, apparently more successful than sneaking the glass beer bottles into the opera.
Good job pimping the new episode of House. Cute bit of NFL head coaches talking behind clipboards on the sidelines about how excited they were to watch House. Also, House playing that NFL theme music on his electric guitar.
It may have taken the patriots 8 minutes to get on the field, but they made up for it with embarrassing (for the Giants D) speed. Tom Brady has to be an android. There's no other excuse for it.
Are you freaking kidding me, Pierce? Facemask in the end zone?
Kina Grannis, winner of the Doritos thingy.
Superbowl record! Only two posessions in the first quarter. Not precisely exciting football.
Curve the bullet? The hell??
Oh, Product Red Dell computer. The commercial commentators don't seem to have gotten that one, but I guess I'm predisposed to notice that stuff.
OMG! Giant mutant destroyer carrier pigeons!
Uh... talking coffee stain, somewhat disturbing. I was a bit confused at first, I thought it was like those ESPN ads with the freaky talking heads sprouting.
Now that's what I'm talking about. Pats kick it out of bounds, and then two plays later, Eli heaves it 38 yards to the 20. And then loses 5 yards to delay of game. And then throws an interception. I take that back. Oh, poor Eli.
Horsies! Horsie training like Rocky! With a puppy! And his name is Hank! I know a draft horse named Hank!
Toyota commercial with a...Weasel in the passenger seat? There's screaming involved. I'm not sure I get the selling point. Garmin commercial with Napoleon and a little tiny horse. Is there some sort of Napoleon getting lost...or finding things... history joke that I'm not getting? Maybe the point is that he wasn't actually a mastermind. Or that if I buy a Garmin, I too can be banished to an island.
Leatherheads! Which is now officially more fun than this game if the giants aren't gonna pull it together.
Lizards doing the Thriller Dance for SoBe Life Water? Awesome! It's the little details that make me happy.
Drug dealer complaining about business being bad because kids are stealing prescriptions fomr their parents? Odd. But effective, I guess, as lern-2-parent ads go.
And we're back to what I want to see, which is Brady hitting the dirt. Twice. How do football players not just tear their knees up all the damn time?
Ooh, new Narnia movie.
Oh Charles Barkley and using your powers of nonsequitor for good. I think I've missed at least one of the T-Mobile commercials, but it had something to do with making Wade jump through hoops to be in his Five.
Hmm. Justin Timberlake making a comment about straws up the nose being tasteless, rather than funny, which has to be a dig at Dick in a Box. And being...dragged somewhere? By... a straw in a Pepsi bottle. Oh, I get it. Drinking Pepsi gets you things.
Mousetrap as spectator sport? Person in giant mouse suit charging through the wall to tackle person with Doritos? Isn't that a really old commercial? Maybe I just accidentally saw it during the contest.
Halftime show! Hooray Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers! Sort of neat beating heart light show on the field, even if it was a little out of sync. Oh, and here some the running happy people. They're wearing the same random brightly colored assortment of clothing that they were during Alicia Keys's pregame concert earlier. I wonder if they make them do that.
Has Tom Petty been 60 his entire life? And is that seriously every person on the field holding up their cell phone? Almost makes me miss the days when people smoked, and had lighters. Although I don't suppose they'd let lighters in the stadium these days either. American Girl (441! I know that highway!), I Won't Back Down, and Free Fallin'. Good set. Oh, there's more! Runnin' Down a Dream. And none of that special guest start mash-up crud. They don't need it. But apparently Fox needs the plug. I wonder if the King of the Hill appearance was planned before or after the SuperBowl one.
If I didn't already shop at Publix, their commercials seriously might sway me. They're all so charming and heartfelt. Elementary school kids helping with the Valentine's day marriage proposal? So cute.
Poor Eli. have I said that a hundred times yet? He looks like he's in high school. He's playing like he's in high school too...
And now, we're in the second half and the fun commercials are officially over. I miss Bud Bowl. And cat herding. Rampant commercialism, why have you forsaken me? Oh well, still excited that the game is close. Inexplicably. These do not look like evenly matched teams.
Hey, Hodges! More voodoo for car sales. "Hey Jay, can I take off? I've got a tiny head" Panda...SalesGenie? The huh? Okay, at least I know what's going on.
And continuing the recent theme of incongruently sized things, Shaq as a jockey, shilling for Vitamin water, good effort, but you are no dancing lizard.
Bridgestone, avoiding a deer, a death metal guy (is that actually a famous person, or just someone who looks like one?) with a snake, and Richard Simmons (but he thought about to til the last second, thus making the swerve much more impressive!) I think I like that better than the screaming animal version from earlier.
Bud light, with nonfunctional caveman inventions. Way to reclaim the caveman.
Careerbuilder, with a Jiminy Cricket moment as some poor schmuck wishes for a better job, and sings a truly awful Disney-esque song until the helpful insect gets offed by a spider. Are you sure that wishing won't get me a better job? I was so sure...
I could watch people knock Tom Brady down all day long. Maybe you'll get that wish and have some quality time to spend with your son.
Oh! Pixar! Toy Story! Cute robot (Wall-E)! Perplexed by (bonding with?) a shop-vac. Looks a lot like Johnny 5
Bud Light - and now, the ability to fly. And he gets sucked through the engine. And lives. Okay, whatever.
Chester Pitt. Plays the oboe. SuperAd. Is... is that supposed to be sincere or the other type of ad?
Oh! Stewie balloon and...that superhero dog balloon fighting over a bottle of coke balloon. Awesome. And Charlie Brown snakes it at the end! Oh, Charlie Brown, did no one tell you that you're not allowed to win?
Touchdown Giants! And Peyton is standing in the skybox, clapping sedately. Still looks nervous. Where are their parents, anyway? Oh, they cut to him jumping up and cheering, presumably when the touchdown actually happened. Good.
Thanks Coke for making the second half commercials worth watching. Clever bit bringing Carville and Frist together after they're forced to buy a coke by the jinx rule.
Dog drinking water...Gatorade. I don't get it.
Adam Sandler, returning to form.
Bud light. Suck one.
I almost feel bad cheering against the Pats now. It'd be different if they were playing their normal game, and the Giants were better. But they're not. I think I'd rather the Giants won in week 17 and lost the SuperBowl. Also, seriously, Giants D, stop tackling people across the first down marker. Okay, I take it back, I don't feel bad now that they're winning again. Also, I'm really sleepy. So, if it took Eli over 8 minutes to get them down the field the first time, what are the odds he can do it in 2 1/2 minutes this time, even using the time-outs? Oh, Eli, Eli, Eli. Stop throwing the ball stupid places. You are no Brett Favre.
Frightening Amp commercial starring a guy I'm sure I should recognize. Big Ben singing for some reason I don't understand.
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME Eli? Dude, stop throwing the ball to scary places!
Immediately followed by a play which is a good argument for Eli in fact being Brett Favre. Which. Just. Wow. I'm not sure what happened there, but I'm sure I'll have the opportunity to watch it another hundred times on the internet if I want.
Wow. Touchdown. Oh, Peyton looks so proud. Man, I'm not sure Eli deserves this, but I think the rest of the Giants offense sure does. So the question is, what can the Patriots do with 3 time outs? Not enough. Maybe next year they can do it again, and not choke at the end.
Aw, they're chanting "Eli!" What do they do with the gear they print up with the wrong winner, anyway? Burn it?
See, I'm pretending, as long as I'm home, with my laptop in front of me, rather than watching the SuperBowl with a bunch of people, I can pretend that I'm doing the reading for class tomorrow, but I know I'm just going to stay up all night like I normally do on Wednesday nights. Bring on the commercials!
Jordin Sparks looks really nervous, poor kid. Well sung, of course. I'm pretty sure she just sang "through the perilous fi...imes" though.
Tedy Bruschi, ducking across the imaginary line on the field to check out the coin toss coin. Wonder if he did it because he just didn't trust them to tell the truth, or really wanted to see what the coin looks like. Either way, that's precious.
Troy Aikman, not as inspiring as Russell Crowe. The just should have shown the perfection bit twice. It was pretty awesome.
All those Ford commercials, where they do ridiculous things like dropping a payload from a helicopter or have the truck skid to a halt on a track at the edge of a chasm, I can see where you might find someone who wants to recreate those in daily life and it'd screw them. However, the "Closed Centrifuge. Do not attempt" warning on the one where they spin the F-150 around by the tow hooks. Is that warning really necessary? Even assuming, for a second, that the "coffee is hot" warning is necessary.
Wow, Belichick isn't wearing his ratty gray hoodie. Looking snazzy there in the new red sweatshirt there, Bill, even if you did cut the sleeves off again.
The fire breathing Bud Light commercial, not as good as the talking to animals one. I'm assuming that the Audi commercial with the (Rolls Royce?) grill in the guy's bed is a Godfather nod? I really ought to have seen the Godfather movies by now.
Peyton stayed away from the Giant's last playoff game. He looks nervous. I can't even imagine how frustrating it must be to watch a quarterback as a quarterback. I have enough trouble.
Oh, Eli. Don't throw into double coverage.
Cute diet Pepsi ad. Sleepy people doing the falling-asleep head nod to the tune of "What is love" in what I really hoping is a Night at the Roxbury reference. And, there we go, they all wake up. And that guy, whose name I should know. Definitely A Night at the Roxbury.
Yeah, over 8 minutes on the first NY drive, and the Pats get the same number of yards on the kickoff return...
More Bud Light cleverness. Trojan cheese wheel, apparently more successful than sneaking the glass beer bottles into the opera.
Good job pimping the new episode of House. Cute bit of NFL head coaches talking behind clipboards on the sidelines about how excited they were to watch House. Also, House playing that NFL theme music on his electric guitar.
It may have taken the patriots 8 minutes to get on the field, but they made up for it with embarrassing (for the Giants D) speed. Tom Brady has to be an android. There's no other excuse for it.
Are you freaking kidding me, Pierce? Facemask in the end zone?
Kina Grannis, winner of the Doritos thingy.
Superbowl record! Only two posessions in the first quarter. Not precisely exciting football.
Curve the bullet? The hell??
Oh, Product Red Dell computer. The commercial commentators don't seem to have gotten that one, but I guess I'm predisposed to notice that stuff.
OMG! Giant mutant destroyer carrier pigeons!
Uh... talking coffee stain, somewhat disturbing. I was a bit confused at first, I thought it was like those ESPN ads with the freaky talking heads sprouting.
Now that's what I'm talking about. Pats kick it out of bounds, and then two plays later, Eli heaves it 38 yards to the 20. And then loses 5 yards to delay of game. And then throws an interception. I take that back. Oh, poor Eli.
Horsies! Horsie training like Rocky! With a puppy! And his name is Hank! I know a draft horse named Hank!
Toyota commercial with a...Weasel in the passenger seat? There's screaming involved. I'm not sure I get the selling point. Garmin commercial with Napoleon and a little tiny horse. Is there some sort of Napoleon getting lost...or finding things... history joke that I'm not getting? Maybe the point is that he wasn't actually a mastermind. Or that if I buy a Garmin, I too can be banished to an island.
Leatherheads! Which is now officially more fun than this game if the giants aren't gonna pull it together.
Lizards doing the Thriller Dance for SoBe Life Water? Awesome! It's the little details that make me happy.
Drug dealer complaining about business being bad because kids are stealing prescriptions fomr their parents? Odd. But effective, I guess, as lern-2-parent ads go.
And we're back to what I want to see, which is Brady hitting the dirt. Twice. How do football players not just tear their knees up all the damn time?
Ooh, new Narnia movie.
Oh Charles Barkley and using your powers of nonsequitor for good. I think I've missed at least one of the T-Mobile commercials, but it had something to do with making Wade jump through hoops to be in his Five.
Hmm. Justin Timberlake making a comment about straws up the nose being tasteless, rather than funny, which has to be a dig at Dick in a Box. And being...dragged somewhere? By... a straw in a Pepsi bottle. Oh, I get it. Drinking Pepsi gets you things.
Mousetrap as spectator sport? Person in giant mouse suit charging through the wall to tackle person with Doritos? Isn't that a really old commercial? Maybe I just accidentally saw it during the contest.
Halftime show! Hooray Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers! Sort of neat beating heart light show on the field, even if it was a little out of sync. Oh, and here some the running happy people. They're wearing the same random brightly colored assortment of clothing that they were during Alicia Keys's pregame concert earlier. I wonder if they make them do that.
Has Tom Petty been 60 his entire life? And is that seriously every person on the field holding up their cell phone? Almost makes me miss the days when people smoked, and had lighters. Although I don't suppose they'd let lighters in the stadium these days either. American Girl (441! I know that highway!), I Won't Back Down, and Free Fallin'. Good set. Oh, there's more! Runnin' Down a Dream. And none of that special guest start mash-up crud. They don't need it. But apparently Fox needs the plug. I wonder if the King of the Hill appearance was planned before or after the SuperBowl one.
If I didn't already shop at Publix, their commercials seriously might sway me. They're all so charming and heartfelt. Elementary school kids helping with the Valentine's day marriage proposal? So cute.
Poor Eli. have I said that a hundred times yet? He looks like he's in high school. He's playing like he's in high school too...
And now, we're in the second half and the fun commercials are officially over. I miss Bud Bowl. And cat herding. Rampant commercialism, why have you forsaken me? Oh well, still excited that the game is close. Inexplicably. These do not look like evenly matched teams.
Hey, Hodges! More voodoo for car sales. "Hey Jay, can I take off? I've got a tiny head" Panda...SalesGenie? The huh? Okay, at least I know what's going on.
And continuing the recent theme of incongruently sized things, Shaq as a jockey, shilling for Vitamin water, good effort, but you are no dancing lizard.
Bridgestone, avoiding a deer, a death metal guy (is that actually a famous person, or just someone who looks like one?) with a snake, and Richard Simmons (but he thought about to til the last second, thus making the swerve much more impressive!) I think I like that better than the screaming animal version from earlier.
Bud light, with nonfunctional caveman inventions. Way to reclaim the caveman.
Careerbuilder, with a Jiminy Cricket moment as some poor schmuck wishes for a better job, and sings a truly awful Disney-esque song until the helpful insect gets offed by a spider. Are you sure that wishing won't get me a better job? I was so sure...
I could watch people knock Tom Brady down all day long. Maybe you'll get that wish and have some quality time to spend with your son.
Oh! Pixar! Toy Story! Cute robot (Wall-E)! Perplexed by (bonding with?) a shop-vac. Looks a lot like Johnny 5
Bud Light - and now, the ability to fly. And he gets sucked through the engine. And lives. Okay, whatever.
Chester Pitt. Plays the oboe. SuperAd. Is... is that supposed to be sincere or the other type of ad?
Oh! Stewie balloon and...that superhero dog balloon fighting over a bottle of coke balloon. Awesome. And Charlie Brown snakes it at the end! Oh, Charlie Brown, did no one tell you that you're not allowed to win?
Touchdown Giants! And Peyton is standing in the skybox, clapping sedately. Still looks nervous. Where are their parents, anyway? Oh, they cut to him jumping up and cheering, presumably when the touchdown actually happened. Good.
Thanks Coke for making the second half commercials worth watching. Clever bit bringing Carville and Frist together after they're forced to buy a coke by the jinx rule.
Dog drinking water...Gatorade. I don't get it.
Adam Sandler, returning to form.
Bud light. Suck one.
I almost feel bad cheering against the Pats now. It'd be different if they were playing their normal game, and the Giants were better. But they're not. I think I'd rather the Giants won in week 17 and lost the SuperBowl. Also, seriously, Giants D, stop tackling people across the first down marker. Okay, I take it back, I don't feel bad now that they're winning again. Also, I'm really sleepy. So, if it took Eli over 8 minutes to get them down the field the first time, what are the odds he can do it in 2 1/2 minutes this time, even using the time-outs? Oh, Eli, Eli, Eli. Stop throwing the ball stupid places. You are no Brett Favre.
Frightening Amp commercial starring a guy I'm sure I should recognize. Big Ben singing for some reason I don't understand.
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME Eli? Dude, stop throwing the ball to scary places!
Immediately followed by a play which is a good argument for Eli in fact being Brett Favre. Which. Just. Wow. I'm not sure what happened there, but I'm sure I'll have the opportunity to watch it another hundred times on the internet if I want.
Wow. Touchdown. Oh, Peyton looks so proud. Man, I'm not sure Eli deserves this, but I think the rest of the Giants offense sure does. So the question is, what can the Patriots do with 3 time outs? Not enough. Maybe next year they can do it again, and not choke at the end.
Aw, they're chanting "Eli!" What do they do with the gear they print up with the wrong winner, anyway? Burn it?
